


The Path Back to You

by NerinaLily



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Combat, Death, F/M, Fanfiction, Fantasy, Fear, Heartbreak, Humour, Love, Manga & Anime, Romance, Sorrow, Torture, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:48:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29261505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerinaLily/pseuds/NerinaLily
Summary: Left out in Titan country during an Expedition, Anastasya 'Anya' Morozova should have died months ago. Always one to defy the odds, the once-formidable captain is determined to cling to life long enough to find her way back to those she loves, battling against Titans, the elements, and fate itself in order to do so, as she seeks out the sanctuary of the very walls she was once so desperate to escape. However, back within the cramped world of the last of humanity, will things ever be the same again for Anastasya, Levi, Erwin and the others? Or will the hearts they all thought they'd hardened finally begin to crack in the face of tragedy?
Relationships: Levi Ackerman & Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is an Attack on Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin fanfiction. The original manga publication was created by Hajime Isayama. I therefore do not own the majority of the characters, storylines, or locations, and have kept some dialogue and scenarios the same as they are in the original in order to make the story work better and to keep characters consistent - after all, it's hard to change perfection! Please be wary of spoilers from all seasons of the anime.
> 
> I do own the main character (Anastasya Morozova) and other original characters, scenes etc. and these are under copyright protection. Please do not use them.
> 
> This fanfiction was written purely for enjoyment to add to and embellish a universe I truly love, and to improve my writing and character development.
> 
> If you enjoy this story, please check out the original manga and the anime!
> 
> I update this fic every **Thursday**.

The cloaked woman almost tumbled from the worn saddle of her night-black horse when she spotted the blush of red smoke spiralling into the sky, far off in the distance. Stinging tears filled her tired, aching eyes, and a choked sob escaped from her pale, chapped lips. She was close. So, so close, and yet the very thing that gave her hope also filled her with such a sickening sense of dread that she felt her stomach begin to churn. If the Scout Regiment were using red smoke signals, it meant that Titans were nearby. Despite the risk that it posed to the life she'd been struggling so hard to hold on to, she urged her horse down the grassy hill and towards the smoke, her lips pursed and her eyes narrowed with determination. She'd waited too long for this moment to simply let it slip through her fingers. She would see them all again. 

She would see _him _again.__


	2. The Rogue Rider

**Levi**

Levi's composure threatened to crumble as the poison of grief churned his stomach and wrapped like a vice around his heart. He grit his teeth and kept his eyes on the path ahead, doing his best to bury his pain, just as he always did. He was devastated. They all were. All those who were left, anyway. So many of the Scout Regiment had been lost in a mere two hours. The mission had been a complete failure, though Erwin seemed to think otherwise. Quite how he could think that, Levi had no idea. His squad, his _friends_ , had been wiped out by one single damn Titan bitch. All of them were dead except for Eren, who now lay unconscious in one of the wagons as they retreated to Wall Rose, battered and miserable. His squad... Eld, Gunther, Oluo and Petra... had died protecting the brat. Levi had had to leave them all so as to rendezvous with Erwin and try to extract whoever was piloting the Female Titan, and he simply hadn't made it back in time. Perhaps if he had... Perhaps things would have been different. He was already anticipating the fallout from everyone who doubted or even outright opposed the Scout Regiment. He was going to have to deal with all of the families of his team, who had trusted him with their lives, and tell them that their sons, daughters, brothers and sisters weren't coming home. He cast his gaze to the wagon he rode alongside. His squad was in there, wrapped up amongst the rest of the corpses. He had hoped to be able to bring their bodies back, to give their families some small degree of closure, but as he glanced behind him, he knew that it was no longer a possibility. The Titans were gaining on them. No, he would instead have to tell those families that their loved ones had been devoured.  
That there was nothing left.  
"Dump the bodies," he told the two soldiers riding in the wagon.  
"What?!"  
"There are plenty of others whose bodies we couldn't retrieve. These are no more important than them," he lied.  
He didn't wait around to watch as they began reluctantly tossing his comrades out into the path of the Titans as though they were pieces of discarded furniture. He moved further up in the formation, losing himself in his thoughts for a moment. He was angry that, despite the fact that so many had died, they still didn't know the identity of the Female Titan, and he couldn't shake the image of the thing lying slumped against a tree, tears rolling down its ugly face, as he'd raced away with Mikasa and Eren. Something else that troubled him was the fact that Petra's omni-directional mobility gear had been taken. By whom, and why, he couldn't fathom, unless it was the pilot of the Female Titan. However, they'd clearly already possessed ODM gear before they'd so brutally murdered his squad. He glanced behind him again to see if the wagon teams had managed to get further away from the Titans. He froze, his lips parting in astonishment.  
"Who is that?!"  
A rider to his right had also turned to watch as a blood-soaked figure attacked the pursuing Titans, despite the lack of trees and tall buildings. It was suicide. Whoever it was wouldn't last long. He was about to race ahead when he glanced a coal-black stallion cantering near to the rogue rider. It looked so similar to the one that he'd bought a few years ago that he did a double take.  
"Impossible," he muttered.  
He twisted back in his saddle, ignoring the pain in his leg and ankle, and studied the person's fighting style. It was fast, maybe even faster than his own technique, and full of twists and turns that made them look more like a dancer than a highly skilled killer. His heart began to race when he heard them whistle. The black stallion slowed and went straight over to them, and as the slaughtered Titan began falling to the ground, the rider jumped from its shoulder and landed smoothly on the horse, before galloping away to kill the next monster. He suddenly wanted nothing more than to go to them, to discover their identity and shake them for being so stupid, but he knew he couldn't break the formation. Knew that it couldn't be her.  
"Whoever that is, they're saving us!" exclaimed another soldier.  
"Tch!"  
He clenched his teeth and raced to the front to speak to Erwin.  
"There's a rogue soldier attacking the Titans behind us," he told him.  
"Leave them to it. If they can't follow simple instructions, then-" began Erwin, before he cut him off.  
"I think it's her."  
Erwin turned to look at him with wide, icy-blue eyes.  
"It can't be. It's been half a year, Levi. There's no way she could have survived for so long out in Titan country."  
He daren't speak. Instead, he dropped to the back of the formation again, looking for the mysterious figure. They had disappeared from his range of view, but he saw Titan after Titan fall in the distance, allowing the entire regiment to get away safely.

***

**Mikasa**

Mikasa had seen the rider on the black horse and thanked the heavens that they had come. She didn't care who they were, as long as they were on their side and posed no threat to Eren. Shortly after they had appeared, and the Titans chasing them had been destroyed, the regiment had stopped to give the horses a rest and so that they could safely regroup the formation. She looked up from where she was tending to a still-unconscious Eren. An eerie, charged silence had fallen over everyone. The only sound was the thunder of hooves as the unknown figure reappeared. Mikasa watched as the rider, who wore a filthy, tattered Scout Regiment cloak, came to a halt before Erwin and Levi. Their face was concealed by the shadows beneath their hood, and although both men tensed, neither moved to withdraw their blades. The rider half-toppled from their saddle, and they used their horse to steady themselves. They pressed their forehead against that of the stallion's, as though drawing strength from the formidable beast, before slowly turning to Commander Erwin and Captain Levi, keeping their gaze cast to the ground.  
"Reveal yourself," the commander ordered,  
Mikasa thought that she detected uncertainty in his voice, almost as though he were afraid of who lay beneath the cloak. The entire regiment held its breath as the rider reached up with pale hands and lowered their hood. For a moment, no one spoke. The rider was female, and exactly the same height as Levi. She had long, messy, moonlight-white hair, delicate cheekbones, and would have been quite beautiful were she not so malnourished and covered in blood and gore. The woman looked up and regarded Erwin for a second, an unidentifiable emotion shimmering in her eyes, and then she fixed her gaze upon Levi. Mikasa could see, even from a distance, that the captain was trembling, his lips moving yet producing no words. He reached out to the woman with a shaking hand, but then let it fall to his side before he could touch her. She thought that his reaction was because of how filthy the woman was and how much of a clean freak the captain was, but to her and everyone else's surprise, he took a step forward and pulled the woman into a tight embrace. He held her for what seemed like an age, one hand around her waist, the other on the back of her head, while the woman buried her face into his shoulder and hugged him close. Commander Erwin suddenly looked away from the pair and directed his icy gaze at the soldiers, and everyone hurriedly pretended to be getting on with things. However, no-one could resist glancing back at them every so often. Jean joined Mikasa in the wagon, shock written upon his face.  
"Who the hell is that?" he asked in a hushed voice.  
"I have no idea," she replied.  
Hange had been on her way to check on Eren, but she had stopped when she'd seen the rider. She climbed up into the wagon, tears in her maroon eyes.  
"Section Commander?" Jean asked.  
"Mm?" she asked, so unlike her usual energetic, eccentric self.  
"Who is that?"  
She looked back at the woman again, who was only now stepping away from Levi.  
"That...is an impossibility."  
"Huh?"  
"Her name is Anastasya Morozova. She was...no, she _is_ a captain."  
"What happened to her?" Mikasa asked, watching as Captain Levi and Captain Anastasya embraced again, as though they were afraid of ever being separated.  
"Months and months ago, the Scouts went on an Expedition. It was the furthest one yet. We had suspicions that a group of people from beyond the walls might be living in the mountains where the Titans couldn't reach them," she explained.  
"It went wrong, though. The Levi and Anastasya squads had been separated from the rest of us. The mountain ledge that Anastasya had been standing on broke when a Titan managed to run out from a cave and climb onto it. Before she could use her ODM gear, both Anya and the Titan plummeted into the ravine below. We all thought Anya had died that day, either from the fall or from being eaten by the Titan. They had to drag Levi away," she said softly. "He made them wait for as long as possible, but when there was no sign of her, Erwin ordered them all to retreat and branded the Expedition a massive failure. Levi took it incredibly hard. We all did."  
"Why doesn't he seem as upset about the four squad members he lost today?" Jean blurted.  
"Oh he is, believe me. However, he's in love with Anya."  
Jean gasped, as did Mikasa. The fact that Levi, one of the bluntest, crudest people they'd ever met, could love anyone seemed... Impossible.  
"Why are you crying, though?" Jean asked.  
Hange looked at him indignantly.  
"Anya is my best friend! I've known her for years. All this time, I thought she was gone..."  
"Why aren't you over there, then?"  
"They need a few minutes alone," she said, uncharacteristically serious.  
Mikasa looked over to where Erwin stood talking with Miche. The tall commander was repeatedly glancing at Levi and Anya, who both seemed oblivious to everyone else around them. He eventually turned away, a pained expression upon his face, and Mikasa wondered if he felt guilty for having made the Scouts give up the search for her that day, now that he knew she was alive.  
"Does this mean that Levi hasn't always been...you know...?" said Jean.  
"Hmm? Oh, you mean a cold, ill-mannered sourpuss?" Hange asked, finally perking up again. "Of course he has. If you think he's tetchy and aloof, wait until you meet Anya and see how much of a hard-ass she can be!"  
Mikasa frowned, and Hange finished checking Eren over before jumping down from the wagon.  
"He's doing fine," she said. "I'll have to run some tests when we get back, though. I wanna see if any of the DNA from the Female Titan is left on him."  
She and Jean watched as she hurriedly made her way over to Anastasya and Levi. Anastasya immediately threw her arms around the section commander, as Levi looked on protectively.

***

**Levi**

He couldn't believe it. His legs had almost given way upon seeing her again. For months and months he had mourned her, thinking that she had died because he'd let her down. Yet there she was, standing in front of him, the stunning, amethyst-blue of her long-lashed eyes exactly as he'd remembered it. Despite her filthy clothing, he had held her as though he never, ever wanted to let go. All he wanted was to be back in the castle, alone with her in his room, apologising until he ran out of breath for ever leaving her behind. However, they still had a way to go to get back to headquarters, and they needed to get moving again, sooner rather than later.  
"I can't believe it's you!" Hange cried, pulling back from their hug, tears collecting in her glasses.  
"I missed you," Anya said, putting a hand on Hange's arm.  
Just hearing her voice again, calm and smooth as a lake on a breezeless summer's day, made his breath hitch in his throat.  
From further on in the makeshift camp, Erwin issued the order to prepare to leave. Levi knew that he had to be all over the place. He sure as hell was.  
"Are you able to ride back?" he asked Anya.  
"Yes," she replied.   
There was a terrible, haunted look in her eyes that hadn't been there before. He wondered what she had had to endure in the past six months, though he wouldn't push her. He knew that she would talk about things when she was ready. If she ever was. Hange, however, had no such reservations.  
"What was it like? Were you alone all this time? How did you survive?!"  
"Enough," he snapped. "There'll be time for questions later."  
Hange's expression morphed to one full of uncharacteristic seriousness, and she nodded.  
"You're right. I'd... better get back to my horse."  
She hugged Anya once more and rushed over to where Erwin stood waiting.  
"You didn't have to do that," Anya said quietly, watching her go. "She's just excited."  
"And you're exhausted," he said, softening his tone. "Hange can wait."  
Anya pursed her lips and then mounted her horse, albeit clumsily. They had barely said two words to one another, and he was starting to wonder if she blamed him for leaving her behind. He got back onto his own horse and fell into formation. Anya rode beside him, and just from the way that she held herself in the saddle, he could tell that she was injured.  
He prayed it was nothing serious. 


	3. Homecoming

****

**Anastasya**

Upon seeing the enormous, looming façade of Wall Rose again, something had stirred within Anastasya. She felt a strange mixture of joy, relief, fear, and dread, carried on a tide of nostalgia. She had grown up within the three walls; they were all she'd ever known. That was, until she had been forced to survive alone out in Titan country for months and months. She shuddered as she dismounted and led her horse through the gate and into the cobbled streets of Trost District.  
"You okay?" Levi asked, walking close beside her.  
"Yeah," she lied.  
In truth, she felt weak and dizzy, and every bone and muscle in her body seemed to throb with pain. She forced herself to focus on putting one foot in front of the other and keeping her head down. The city was packed full of people crowding together to watch the Scout Regiment return home, and she was wilting under the scrutiny, just as she had when they'd passed through Karanes District a few hours earlier. She pulled her hood up again and listened intently to the murmurs of the citizens. Some of them were excited and optimistic, and she watched as relief washed over their faces when they saw that their loved ones had made it back alive. Others appeared anxious. Before she had joined them, she had witnessed Levi ordering the men to dump the bodies that they had been able to recover so as to have a better chance of escaping the pursuing Titans, and now because of the lack of corpses, people were confused as to where those they cared about might be. She heard the usual grumblings of the nay-sayers, the ones who claimed that their taxes were being used to do nothing more than feed the Titans thanks to the regiment's apparently fruitless missions, and she listened as others wondered why they had returned so soon after leaving.  
"They only left this morning," one woman said to her friend.  
"Yes, and I could have sworn that there were far more of them earlier," the friend remarked.  
Beside her, Levi tensed. She knew that he had just lost his entire squad, and she knew exactly how he felt. They had been her friends, too, and before she'd had the chance to be reunited with them, they had been viciously slaughtered. The image of Petra's broken, bloodied body smashed against the trunk of a tree flashed through her mind, and she quickly squeezed her eyes shut. Her own squad, the one that had accompanied her on that doomed Expedition over six months ago, was nowhere to be seen. She found herself fearing the worst. As they continued on through the streets, a bashful, middle-aged man approached Levi, who suddenly gripped his horse's reins tighter and carried on walking, avoiding eye contact. However, the man was not deterred, and he followed alongside them, smiling.  
"Captain Levi! I'm so glad you're back! Is Petra around? I wanted to talk to you about something. See, she sent me this letter," he said, waving an envelope by his face. "She's completely star-struck, being in your squad. I wanted to thank you for giving her the chance to join. Now, considering how young she is and how much she still has to experience, it's-"  
Levi looked as though he wanted to be sick.  
"I'm sorry, Sir," said Anya, as patiently and politely as possible, despite the gore she was covered in and the sorrow that pierced her heart. "Captain Levi is extremely tired after the Expedition, but he will be able to speak with you later about any concerns you might have."  
"Oh... Oh yes, of course! I'm sorry!" the man stammered.  
He fell back into the crowd, and Levi shot her a sullen glance.  
"Thank you," he said.  
She frowned. She had expected him to tell her that her help was unnecessary, but he merely stared at the ground, face drawn and wracked with grief and guilt. She wanted, so desperately, to reassure him. To let him know that what had happened to his squad, and what had happened to her, wasn't his fault. However, she could feel the wild storm of emotions raging behind the wall she'd so carefully and painstakingly built, and she knew that she had to continue to hold everything in. If she were to start talking now, she would crumble in front of everyone.  
The majority of the regiment stopped in Trost, where their official headquarters were based. However she, Levi, Erwin, Hange, and a few others carried on, riding to a castle in the countryside, much to her surprise. It was one of the Scouts' old headquarters, but she simply couldn't muster the energy to ask what they were doing there. Instead, she stayed by Levi's side like a silent shadow, no-one else daring to go near her. When they reached the stables, they both dismounted and left their horses in the care of a young male recruit whom she failed to recognise, before going over to where Erwin was waiting for them in the courtyard.  
"Clean yourselves up, and then we'll debrief," he said brusquely.  
She could tell that he was struggling with her return. Levi was, too, as was she, and she anticipated the conversations the three of them were going to have with a sense of quiet dread. However, for the moment, she couldn't bring herself to speak, such was her exhaustion. Levi nodded, and they entered the old castle together. She was instantly bombarded with memories, but she pushed them away and limped after Levi as he lead her to his quarters.  
"I'll let you go first," he said, gesturing to the bathroom.  
"Clean clothes?"  
"I'll go and find something. Do you need medical attention?"  
"No."  
They regarded one another, just for a moment, but the pain and uncertainty in Levi's gaze was all it took to start freeing her emotions and have her retreating into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind her with a loud, final-sounding _click_. She slumped to the floor and buried her face in her hands, doing her best to stifle the sobs wracking her body as everything finally began to sink in.

***

****

**Levi**

Levi's heart cracked as he listened to Anya crying on the other side of the door. He had half a mind to break the damn thing down and drag her out so that he could hold her close and tell her that she was going to be okay, but he forced himself to leave and find her some clothes.  
"Hange," he said, grabbing her arm as she made to pass him in the corridor.  
"Mm? Where's Anya?"  
"Bathing. Do you have some clothes she could borrow?"  
"Of course!"  
"Nothing weird," he warned her.  
"I have a fantastic sense of fashion!"  
"Right."  
"Wait here."  
She disappeared for a few minutes, before coming back with a pile of clothes.  
"I have boots too but I don't remember her size, and the leggings are going to be too long," she said, handing everything over.  
"It'll do for now. Thanks."  
She stopped him as he turned to go back to his room.  
"How's she doing?"  
"I don't know," he confessed quietly. "Not good."  
She pursed her lips and then directed her gaze to something behind Levi. Erwin was waiting at the end of the corridor.  
"Levi. A word," he said.  
He nodded to Hange and then followed Erwin into a small, cold meeting room.  
"How is she?"  
He hated the concern he saw in his friend's eyes. If he hadn't dragged him out of the ravine, if he had just allowed him to carry on looking, maybe he would have found Anya that day. No... He couldn't think like that, and yet...  
"She's bathing," he said curtly.  
"That's not what I asked."  
"How do you think? She's been out there on her own for over half a year, isolated in Titan country. What she had to do to survive... I imagine it's changed her."  
Erwin nodded glumly, directing his gaze at the floor.  
"Meet me in here in an hour."  
He raised his eyebrows. He hadn't expected Erwin to give them so much time to talk together first.  
"See you in an hour, then."  
He returned to his room and knocked on the bathroom door. Anya opened it, and he almost dropped the pile of clothes as she strode out naked. She turned to look at him, confused.  
"Oh... Sorry," she said. "I didn't really bother with clothes this past year, considering I only had one set."  
He was shocked. Not because she was naked – certainly nothing he hadn't seen before – but because of what had become of her beautiful body. Whereas before it had been toned and curvaceous, it was now jagged and scarred, and numerous ribs protruded from under her mottled, bruised skin. He'd known that she was far thinner now; he'd felt it through her clothing when he'd embraced her, but he hadn't quite anticipated what he now saw.  
"Anya..." he said, his voice thick with emotion.  
He had failed her.  
"Not quite like I was before, right?" she asked.  
She frowned down at a large, black bruise covering the right side of her ribs, pressing it gingerly. She had a long, fresh-looking gash down her right thigh, and he immediately set the clothes down and went to fetch the small medical kit he kept in one of his desk drawers.  
"Sit down," he told her.  
She looked as though she was going to protest, but when she saw what he knew to be sheer desperation on his face, she slowly lowered herself to the bed. He cleaned the wound carefully, almost too afraid to touch her in case she should shatter, and then gently wrapped her thigh in a bandage.  
"Thanks," she said.  
"Do you... Do you need anything else?" he asked, anxious to do something, anything, to help her.  
"No."  
"I... I'm going to wash, then."  
"All right."  
He went to the bathroom and leant back against the door, closing his eyes.  
 _My fault._


	4. Reconciliation

****

**Anastasya**

Anya knew that her body would recover. Probably. It had been so strong before she'd left the walls, and even after months of rough sleeping and minimal food, she was still agile and had retained a good degree of strength. She pulled on the clothes that she guessed had been lent by Hange, and then sat back down on the bed, staring into space. She had no idea how long she had been sitting there for when Levi joined her, now dressed in a long-sleeved, off-white top and black trousers, his hair damp from bathing. His dark, blue-grey eyes searched hers, and she knew she would have to talk eventually. They both would.  
"Why were you covered in so much blood? It looked like you'd painted yourself with the damn stuff," he suddenly remarked.  
"I had, essentially. I coated myself in animal blood and guts to try and deter the Titans."  
"Did it work?"  
"Some of the time, but... I don't think they simply smell us. I think it's a combination of things."  
They fell into another silence until Levi reached out and gently tugged at her newly-white hair, which was a lot longer than when anyone had last seen her.  
"I like it."  
"I think it's the stress and exertion that's made it this way," she said. "But me too."  
"You hated the colour of your hair before. You were always complaining about it."  
Her hair before had been a rich, dark shade of brown, but she had always wanted to have black hair instead. It was ironic how far the other way it had gone.  
"I did," she agreed.  
There was a small pause, and then Levi took the plunge.  
"What happened that day, Anya?" he asked quietly.  
She sighed, looking down at the floor. She had replayed that fateful day over and over in her head, but this would be the first time she spoke about it to anyone.  
"When the ledge broke, I fell into the ravine. It was narrow, so the Titan couldn't reach me, which was lucky as I passed out. I managed to use my ODM gear to slow my fall and travel some way up the ravine, but I hit my head on something. I think I was out cold for about three days, judging by the shape of the moon when I finally saw the sky again."  
Levi flinched, horrified, but she continued.  
"The strange thing was that when I finally came to... I wasn't in the ravine anymore."  
His eyes widened. They had searched and searched, but other than her blood, there had been no trace of her.  
"How?"  
"I... I don't know," she said, frowning. "To this day, I have no idea. I don't remember moving myself, and when I woke up, I basically couldn't move; not for a long time. I think I broke a few ribs, maybe some bones in my feet as well. I found myself to be lying in a tiny cave at the end of the ravine, and by some miracle, Nightmare was outside the entrance, waiting. I managed to reach into my pack and drink and eat a little, and I stayed there for another five days or so, trying to wait for the pain and dizziness to subside. It wasn't long before Titans found me. That was the only bad thing about that cave; it was too narrow for them to reach through, but as it was at ground level, they could get to it easily," she said, shuddering at the memory of the Titans' gruesome faces watching her in the dark.  
"I was running out of food and water. I knew I had to get out of there, but there were about seven Titans in total blocking the way. I was either going to die from dehydration, or die by being eaten."  
"Couldn't you have waited until night?" Levi asked. "When they're inactive?"  
She smiled grimly.  
"I discovered a few things out there. One of them being that that's not the case for all Titans. Some of them are able to move during the night."  
Shock rippled across Levi's face.  
"What?"  
"I think it's to do with the moon. After all, its light is just a reflection of sunlight. Some of them are able to use it, I suppose. As it happens, I did wait until night, because they still seemed to be weaker then than they were during the day. I jabbed my blades through the eyes of the closest one and I ran. I pulled myself up onto Nightmare and just about managed to escape, although I had no idea where to go next. I panicked and rode further up the mountain, hoping that they wouldn't be able to follow if I went high enough. Eventually I found another cave and a plateau out of their reach. There was a small stream nearby, and I was able to set some traps up there without Titans trampling on everything. That's where I stayed to recover." She paused, swallowing hard.  
"I managed to make it back inside Wall Maria last month. I tried to follow the wall round to the next district, but the Titans... they made it impossible. I had no choice but to go to the giant forest and wait up in the trees, trying to think of what to do next. I wanted... I wanted to come home so badly," she said, her voice finally breaking.  
Levi cupped her chin so that she looked at him.  
"I'm so sorry," he told her, rare tears brimming in his eyes, too.  
"For what?" she whispered.  
"For leaving you behind. It's my fault."  
"No... No, it's not your fault."  
"It is. I shouldn't have listened to Erwin. If I had just followed my instincts and acted alone-"  
"No, Levi. You had the others and yourself to think about, and so did Erwin. You and I both would have ordered our squads to do the same thing had it been anyone else. There can't be an exception just because it's me."  
"Tch. There can, damnit!"  
He stood up, hissing in pain, and hobbled a few steps away, keeping his back to her.  
"You're one of the only good things in my life, and I abandoned you when you needed me the most. What kind of a man does that make me?" he asked, turning round again.  
"A sensible one."  
He shook his head, clamping a hand over his mouth and regarding her for a moment.  
"I will always make an exception for you," he said, finally letting his hand fall. "You're worth it."  
She had longed to be reunited with Levi, but she had known that it wouldn't be easy. That he would blame himself first, and Erwin second. She wondered if they had fought with one another in the aftermath of the Expedition. She sighed, chuckling slightly, though it was without humour.  
"I come out with a lot of shit, sometimes," she said.  
"Huh?"  
"Telling you that you were right to leave me behind. You were, of course. If it had been the other way around, though... I would have wanted to stay, just like you did. I would have made an exception for you, too."  
Levi sat back down on the bed.  
"I'm never letting you go again," he told her. "I swear it on my life."  
"Levi... You can't make such promises."  
He arched an eyebrow.  
"And you?"  
She huffed a laugh.  
"You've got me there again."  
He cracked a smile but it was so tentative and fragile. She remembered that their comrades had died earlier that day, and she placed a hand on his thigh.  
"I'm sorry for what happened today," she said. "I... I saw them, but I was too late. I took Petra's ODM gear so that I might stand a chance of getting back to you all. What happened?"  
Levi grit his teeth.  
"The Colossal Titan breached the wall recently in Trost; that's why we had to come back through Kalaneth District earlier. During the attack, we discovered that one of the new recruits has the ability to turn into a Titan."  
She gaped like a fish as she struggled to process the information.  
"A... What? You mean that what we suspected about the Armoured Titan and the Colossal Titan being controlled by humans...was correct?"  
"Yeah, it seems like it, though we still don't know who pilots them. We were able to capture two 'Pure' Titans following the breach but after a few days, someone killed them both. Erwin's suspected a traitor for a while now and that confirmed it for him. He arranged the Expedition today to draw them, predicting that they would go after our shifter, Eren, which they did," he said darkly.  
"The Female Titan," she deduced. She had seen the giant, muscled Titan woman and known she was different to the others. The revelation that people could willingly change into Titans was a bombshell she hadn't truly been expecting, despite her past theories, and she tried to get her head around it.  
"So this boy, and presumably a girl, can transform into Titans? How is it possible? Can we trust this 'Eren'?" she asked, trying to douse her sudden anxiety.  
"He seems like a good kid, even if he is annoying as hell. Whoever controls the Female Titan is probably still among us. We were able to capture her in the giant forest, but before I could cut her open, she called for the Titans to come and eat her body," he spat. "We were completely overwhelmed, and she managed to slip away and go after Eren. By the time I reached him, the others... were dead," he said quietly.  
"They died trying to protect him. The brat's only fifteen and he still doesn't understand his powers or how to fully control them. They didn't want him to have to transform to save them. I told him he had to make up his own mind about what to do; to either trust the team around him, or himself. I should have told him to do it, then they'd-"  
"Don't," she said. "That's not on you, Levi. They made their choice in your absence. They were trained to act independently. You can't be in two places at once. They did what they thought was best."  
"Maybe you're right."  
"You know I am, just like you were when I held myself responsible for the deaths of my first squad. We're all too aware of how easy it is to blame ourselves despite never being able to know if the other choice would have worked out any better. There's no point dwelling on it too much, but...if you want to talk about it, I'm here. You don't have to bottle it up."  
Levi moved his hand so that it grasped the one she still rested on his leg.  
"That goes for you, too," he said quietly.  
She smiled, though her lips wavered from the effort and soon fell again.  
"Perhaps it wasn't as bad as you might imagine out there. It was quite freeing, living beyond the walls, away from all of the politics." She absentmindedly stroked his hand with a finger. "Do we have to go and see Erwin?"  
"Yeah. In about half an hour."  
"Oh." She laid back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. After a moment, Levi did the same. "I'm so tired," she sighed.  
"Me, too."  
"We can rest, soon. Though I don't have a room anymore, I suppose."  
"It's not like there's a shortage," he said wearily. He turned his head to meet her eyes. "I want you with me tonight."  
"That's very assertive of you."  
"I never want to let you out of my sight again."  
She gave him a rueful smile.  
"Even though I'm so disgusting now?"  
"You could never be disgusting," he told her, frowning. "Your body shows the fight you've been through, and yet it didn't fail you. That's something to be admired."  
She responded by pressing her lips to his, smiling as he reacted.  
She was almost home. 


	5. Guilt

****

**Erwin**

Erwin watched as Anastasya and Levi entered the candlelit meeting room. Seeing Anastasya again, especially in her current condition, made his heart ache and his stomach twist with remorse. He had only ever loved one woman, and he truly believed that there was only one that he would ever love in his entire lifetime. It would always be her. However, when he'd had his chance to build a future with her, he'd completely and utterly ruined it. He'd been too afraid of hurting her while pursuing the truth of their world, afraid of putting her second, and afraid of asking the impossible of her. He'd made the decision to let her go because he'd thought it was the kindest thing to do, but as he met her eyes, he realised that he had ended up hurting her and disappointing her regardless. All he could think about was how he had left Anastasya behind in the ravine that day. About how haunted she now looked, how thin and pale, not to mention the drastic change to her formerly rich, glossy, chocolate-brown hair.  
"How do you feel?" he asked her, as she took a seat.  
"I'm glad to be back."  
There was a coldness to her voice that he hadn't heard before. He was terrified that she blamed him. That she hated him. She had every right to, he supposed. She was loyal to those she loved to a fault, and he had no doubt that she would have remained behind to search for him, Levi or Hange until she was certain beyond a doubt that they were dead. She wouldn't have given up. Levi knew it too, and his best friend leaned against the wall with his arms folded, watching her closely.  
"I've assigned you a room," he said. "You don't have to, especially not immediately, but... Do you want to resume your previous position in the regiment?"  
Along with Levi, Anastasya had been one of the best soldiers in the entirety of the Survey Corps, and her loss had been felt by everyone. She was known for her graceful, dance-like executions, her quick-thinking, and her astounding ability to manage PR, despite her often frosty attitude with those who weren't close to her. After having been abandoned by the very people she had trusted the most, however, he realised she might want nothing more to do with them. With him in particular.  
"Of course I do," she said, a sudden, familiar, passion burning in her eyes. "These past months, I haven't simply lain idle in some cave waiting to die. I've been out destroying Titans and trying to get home. I fully intend to continue doing the former."  
He dipped his head and allowed himself the smallest of smiles, pride rushing through him. However, he was desperately worried about her health, and his smile soon morphed into a frown, anticipating her reaction.  
"You need to be seen by a doctor."  
A strange look came over her, and she shook her head. It was the same expression she'd adopted when she'd been a child and was told to do something she found unappealing.  
"No."  
"Anastasya," he said, knowing that a firm tone was needed. "You may have been out of the regiment for months, but don't forget that you take orders from me. If you want to continue as a Scout, you'll see a doctor first thing tomorrow morning. No arguments."  
Levi's eyes narrowed, and she scowled.  
"Fine."  
"Did you see the Female Titan?" he asked, hoping to distract her. He'd not only missed her, but he'd found himself longing for her genius, too, and he was relieved to have it back.  
"Yes. Levi's told me about Eren Jaeger and the fact that there's a traitor among us. Your plan to capture them today wasn't exactly successful though, was it?"  
He sighed, shoving back his guilt as best he could.  
"Not exactly, no, though now we think we know who the traitor is."  
"Who?" Levi asked.  
"A young recruit in the Military Police that goes by the name of Annie Leonhart."  
"How do you know that?"  
"Armin Arlelt came to see me after we returned earlier. He supplied some convincing theories."  
"So it's a hunch."  
"For now, yes."  
"Motives?" Anastasya asked.  
"We don't know yet. Tomorrow, we'll have a meeting with the other recruits who trained with her and find out if they can tell us anything."  
"I see."  
"I might need you for some PR soon," he said, ignoring Levi's ire.  
"Erwin, she needs time-"  
"To clear up the mess," she interrupted.  
He let the guilt settle within him, no longer able to hold it at arm's length. He knew Anastasya was hurting, and he knew that he was the reason that so many lives had been lost earlier. He would take it, and he would give her a job to keep her mind off things. She needed familiarity.  
"I fully expect the government to summon us to the capital to explain today's Expedition. We'll need a counter to garner public support and strengthen our case. Your return in itself should help to lessen the blow."  
"Seems a bit self-indulgent."  
"Can I count on you?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.  
"Yes," she replied, without hesitation.  
"Good. Levi; the families of those we lost today have been informed."  
Levi made as if to protest; Erwin knew that his friend would have wanted to tell them himself, but Levi let it go. His priority was Anastasya now.  
"Are we dismissed?" she asked.  
He was somewhat taken aback by her directness, but he could see how exhausted she was. However, he wasn't ready to let her disappear again. Not yet.  
"Yes. We'll need to go through what happened out beyond the walls, but for now it can wait. I'll show you to your room."  
Anastasya glanced at Levi, and something unspoken passed between them.  
"I'll see you later," said Levi, pushing off from the wall and limping out. It seemed he had been injured during the mission. He'd been trying so hard to control his emotions that he hadn't even noticed.  
"Lead the way," she said, bone-tired.  
He took her up to the top floor and unlocked the door to her old room. All of the items she had owned prior to being left outside the walls had been moved back to the castle. Too many questions would have been asked had he kept them in her quarters at Trost. She walked forward, turning in a circle as she took it all in, while he shut the door behind them.  
"I don't understand," she said, facing him. "If my clothes are here, why did Levi ask Hange to lend me something of hers?"  
He stood tall, though inside he felt unusually shy and awkward. It was just like when they'd been teenagers.  
"No-one knows about this room. That I kept it for you, and for all of your things."  
"Why?" she asked softly.  
"I didn't want to believe that you were dead."  
"Yet you stopped Levi from searching for me."  
He hung his head, ashamed, though there was no accusatory tone to her voice.  
"There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about you," he told her. "However, although I didn't want to let go, I never truly believed that you were still alive. If I had thought that that were the case, even for a second, I wouldn't have left you."  
He got to his knees before her and finally raised his head.  
"Forgive me, Anastasya."  
She stared down at him for a long time, and he realised that her coldness hadn't been specifically directed at him. It was instead a result of whatever horrors she'd been through. There was an icy façade in her amethyst-blue eyes that he'd never seen before, and it broke his heart. She placed a cool hand on his face.  
"There's nothing to forgive," she said. "You're my best and oldest friend, Erwin. I know that you'd never have left if you'd thought there was even the slightest chance that I was still alive. Please...stand up."  
He got to his feet and she drew him into a hug. He dared to put his arms around her, breathing in her scent, listening to her heart beating against his chest. He finally felt just how skinny she had really become, and he prayed that she would make a full recovery, both physically and mentally. She had changed so much in just half a year. She was more serious now, and duller, somehow, as though her very essence had been tarnished. She pulled away and wiped a few stray tears from her cheeks.  
"Don't cry," he said, flicking a tear from the end of her nose, just as he'd done when they were children. He smiled down at her, and she laughed, just slightly, but it was enough to make her whole face light up again. He turned as if to leave, knowing that she must want to be with Levi. However, she grabbed one of his hands, and he paused, looking back at her.  
"Don't go."  
It sounded like a desperate plea rather than a request, and he was reminded of how she used to cling to him when they were younger. The panicked look in her eyes had him embracing her again immediately. She began sobbing, and he gently guided her to sit down on the bed, where he pulled her to his chest, arms wrapped tight around her trembling frame.  
"Shh," he soothed. "You're safe now. You're back with us, where you belong."  
He stroked her pale hair, and after a while, her sobs began to subside. He let go of her and she sniffled, her cheeks blotchy and red.  
"I'm sorry."  
"You've nothing to be sorry for," he replied.  
She scrubbed at her face before taking a deep breath and looking at him.  
"I really don't blame you, Erwin. At all. I know that you feel guilty, but you shouldn't."  
Anastasya knew him better than anyone else. With her, there was nowhere to hide beneath his usual stoicism. She saw straight through it every single time, and she saw through it now, as his guilt finally bubbled to the surface.  
"Each time I plan and carry out an Expedition, I...I am the one responsible for what happens. For all of the people we lose. If the mission is a disaster, it's my fault for failing to keep my soldiers safe. The day we went out, the day we lost you, was the biggest failure of them all," he said. "I should have protected you."  
"How?" she asked. "How were you to know that a Titan would come out of nowhere? How were you to know that I'd fall into a ravine? How were you to know that I'd survive? There was no way you could have known."  
"I stopped the search for you."  
"We've been over this, Erwin. When you decided to stop, what was going through your mind?"  
He thought back to the day that he'd tried so hard to block from his memories for the sake of his own sanity.  
Her 'death' had almost destroyed him, and he was loath to revisit it. 


	6. That Day

****

**Erwin**

_"Commander Erwin! Levi Squad and Anya Squad request urgent assistance!"  
One of Anastasya's soldiers came racing towards him from the other side of the mountain, sheer panic on her face.  
"What's the situation?" he demanded, already mounting his horse.  
"Captain Anastasya has fallen from a ledge! There was a Titan and-"  
For a moment, all he could hear was a high-pitched ringing in his ears. Anastasya. Anastasya was hurt. She hardly ever got hurt. She was one of the only ones who didn't. He snapped back to the present.  
"Show me the way. Miche, Hange; with me."  
The Scout raced off, and Erwin and his men followed close behind. A minute or so later, he jumped from his horse, Hange right beside him, and strode over to where Levi was desperately directing both his and Anastasya's squads.  
"Careful!" he called. "The rock isn't stable!"  
Levi turned to look at him, and he immediately saw the despair in his friend's eyes.  
"What happened?"  
"She was on a ledge; she thought she could hear voices below. She was trying to take a look, but a 10-foot Titan appeared out of nowhere. It ran from that cave over there, straight onto the ledge behind her. Her squad tried to stop it, but it killed most of them and carried on after her. The rock couldn't take its weight, it... it broke. Anya... I don't know if she managed to get away or not. It looks like she and the Titan fell into the ravine."  
He suddenly felt the urge to vomit. His mouth fell open, and for a moment, he was rendered speechless. Miche and Hange looked equally horrified.  
"Can you see the Titan?" Hange asked.  
"The bastard thing seems to be stuck down there. It's got itself wedged between the rocks. Anya might be below it, but we can't see."  
He recovered enough to start thinking rationally again. If there was a chance that she was still alive, she needed them.  
"What are the squads doing now?" he asked.  
"They're assessing the ravine and trying to find a safe way down. It's only just stabilised."  
"All right. Hange; have your squad set up a perimeter. There might be other Titans around, and if they get too close, they could disturb the rocks enough to cause a collapse. Levi; recall the squads and let's hear them report back."  
Levi nodded and called them back up. All of them looked desperate. Anastasya was a well-liked member of the Scouts. Losing her would be a serious blow to them all.  
"Well?" Levi demanded.  
"The Titan is still moving," one of them replied. "It seems like it's trying to reach for something, but it's blocking our view. We might be able to slip past it and get to the bottom, though."  
"If it's reaching, it might be that it can see or sense Anastasya," said Erwin.  
"I'm going down there," said Levi.  
"I'll come with you."  
Perhaps it wasn't the best decision, in view of the fact that he was the Scouts' leader, but in that moment, Anastasya was far more important.  
"Miche; you're in command while I'm down there."  
"Roger! Go and get her back."  
He and Levi readied to descend into the ravine.  
"We can land on the Titan and try to slip through its legs," he said.  
"Yeah."  
"All right. Let's take it slow."  
They cautiously deployed their ODM gear and zipped into the ravine, landing on the Titan's back as planned. It sensed them and tried to reach back to grab them, but its arms were pinned between the stone walls, and its ugly face was turned away from them.  
Levi walked over to its nape.  
"Maybe if we kill it, we can stop it from thrashing about and loosening the rocks."  
"No," said Erwin, frowning. "Look; it's holding up part of the broken ledge over there. If we kill it, its body will evaporate and we risk having the whole thing cave in."  
Levi followed his line of sight.  
"Shit."  
"Let's proceed with the original plan."  
Levi nodded, and they carefully slipped between the Titan's huge legs and down to the floor of the ravine.  
"Damnit, I can hardly see a thing," Levi muttered.  
Although it was supporting the rocks from the ledge it had broken, the Titan was also blocking out the already-faint daylight.  
"Anastasya?" Erwin dared call out, hoping it wouldn't disturb anything.  
They began to search amongst the rocks, but the Titan was becoming increasingly agitated.  
"Anya! If you can hear us, shout to us!" Levi called, becoming truly desperate.  
They suddenly heard the sounds of fighting coming from above. Moments later, another Titan tumbled into the ravine, dead. It landed on top of the one wedged above them and knocked it free, along with the rocks it had been supporting.  
"Shit!" Levi cried. "Erwin!"  
He and Levi just about managed to attach themselves to the other side of the wall, and they clung to it, pressing themselves as flat as possible against the rock, watching helplessly as yet more rubble poured in.  
"ANASTASYA!" Erwin yelled, stretching out a hand.  
Beside him, Levi's eyes were wide and full of utter terror. It felt as though hours passed, but moments later, the ravine stabilised once more.  
"Erwin!" Hange called from above. "Are you all right?!"  
He coughed the dust from his lungs.  
"We're fine!"  
"There's a situation up here! More Titans are approaching!"  
"Hold them off for as long as you can!" he ordered.  
"Understood!"  
Levi had already returned to the ground. He slaughtered the Titan in a fit of rage, no longer needing it to support the rocks, and then picked his way over the rubble and continued searching, growing ever-more frantic. Erwin, however, was beginning to realise that they may have really lost her.  
"Don't just fucking stand there," Levi snapped. "Help me!"  
Erwin joined him, but it wasn't long before they found a large splattering of glistening crimson on the ground in front of them. Had it been from the Titans, it would have evaporated by now. It seemed fresh, and Levi suddenly took a sharp intake of breath, looking sick to the stomach. He dropped to his knees and began digging through the rubble with his bare hands.  
"Dig!" he urged.  
He felt tears burning in his eyes as he knelt next to Levi and sifted through the debris. However, their search proved fruitless. Other than blood, there was nothing left of Anastasya, and he forced himself to get up.  
"We have to keep trying!" Levi insisted, standing up and turning to him. "She might have walked further up the ravine, she-"  
Erwin sat down heavily on a large hunk of stone and buried his head in his hands.  
"She's gone, Levi."  
"You don't know that! She might have been buried, she might be running out of air, we-"  
"She can't have survived that. And that blood... It's directly underneath where the Titan's face was. It might... It might have eaten her."  
"Don't you dare give up on her," Levi snarled, dragging him up to his feet. He raised his head, tears rolling freely down his face. Another scream echoed down to them from above. Their comrades were dying trying to protect the ravine, and it was for nothing.  
"We have to go, Levi."  
Levi shoved him backwards, furious.  
"She wouldn't give up on us. I'm not leaving without her!"  
He turned and began digging again, tearing the skin and nails from his fingers as he scrambled over the rocks. Erwin suddenly felt empty. Empty, and so very, very cold. He swayed on the spot, throwing out his arm to support himself against the wall. He forced himself to follow after Levi, half-heartedly searching for as long as possible, but it was hopeless.  
She was gone.  
He put a hand on Levi's shoulder, and his friend whirled on him, eyes wide with desperation, face covered with blood and dust.  
"She can't be gone. Not...not like this," he choked out.  
"It's time to go, Levi," said Erwin, his voice thick with grief.  
"No!" He tried to shrug him off, but Erwin slipped his arms under his shoulders and pulled him back.  
"ANYA!" he screamed. "ANYA!"  
He dragged him away, back to the widest part of the ravine. He was a foot taller than Levi, and he used his height and strength to his advantage, keeping him flung over his shoulder as he used his ODM gear to take them back up. All around them, soldiers were fighting on the rain-soaked mountain in order to keep the Titans at bay. By the looks of it, there had only been a few casualties, and the situation was nothing the Scouts couldn't handle without him. He put Levi down.  
"Miche," he gasped, trying to ignore the agony of his shattered heart.  
Miche instantly grabbed hold of Levi as he tried to go back down to the ravine.  
"Hange, remove his ODM gear."  
"O-Okay," she said. Her face was full of sorrow. She knew it. She knew her best friend was gone. Beside her, Miche hung his head. Erwin stared at the remaining Titans. He suddenly felt an unbelievable fury burning in his gut, and he roared and launched himself at them, slaughtering one after the other after the other until not a single Titan was left.  
"We return to the walls," he announced, panting and coated in blood. "Immediately."  
For a moment, nobody moved. However, when he raised his gaze to them all, the entire regiment sprang into action, despite their grief and exhaustion. He flicked the blood from his blades and sheathed them before striding over to where Miche was still restraining Levi.  
"Can I trust you to ride back?" he asked.  
"I-I'll make sure he does," said Hange, doing her best not to cry.  
"Good."  
Levi seemed not to hear any of them. His face was distraught, and he was utterly silent, staring at the mouth of the ravine. Erwin wanted to hug his best friend, to share their loss together, but he knew that his anger would come, and he knew that he would be its target._


	7. Relief

****

**Erwin**

Back in Anastasya's room, Erwin squeezed his eyes shut for a moment.  
"I thought you were dead," he told her. "Levi and I went down into the ravine after you, but all we found was blood. Levi destroyed his hands searching for you, and mine weren't much better."  
He held his hands out and examined them, remembering how raw and damaged they'd been.  
"While we were down there, another Titan fell on top of the one that had gone after you. It caused more of the rocks to fall in. Everyone above was fighting, fending off a horde of Titans so that we had longer to look for you. I had to make a choice. I... I had to choose them, given the evidence."  
To his surprise, she smiled and took one of his hands.  
"You did the right thing."  
"Did I? Perhaps if I had listened to Levi, we would have found you eventually. We could have brought you home, Anastasya."  
"No," she said softly. "Believe me, you wouldn't have found me, and you would have lost soldiers for nothing."  
She told him about the cave she had woken up in with no recollection of how she'd got there, and ever so slightly, his guilt eased. However, her revelation signalled that there were yet more mysteries for them to unravel.  
"I'm sorry I can't tell you more," she said. "I... To be honest, there came a point where I stopped thinking. I had to... to live in my memories, because the present was just... It was too awful."  
He squeezed her hand.  
"It's all right. I'm just glad you're back."  
"Me too. Can we have dinner later this week, all four of us? We can talk about things more then. It's just tonight, I... I feel so tired."  
"Of course. It's important that you rest. Tomorrow I can fill you in on everything that's happened while you've been gone, too."  
She nodded, and he got to his feet and headed for the door.  
"I'm glad you're back, Anastasya. It... It wasn't the same without you."  
He opened the door and left, feeling the lightest he had since she'd disappeared.

***

****

**Anastasya**

Anya remained in her room for another ten minutes, trying to organise her thoughts. In the more than twenty years that she and Erwin had known one another, she couldn't remember ever seeing him as shaken as he had appeared whilst recounting what had happened the day that she'd disappeared. He had seemed so lost and grief-stricken. She supposed she would have been exactly the same were anything to happen to him, Levi or Hange, but seeing him like that had stirred up her own, tumultuous emotions once again. She almost felt as though she didn't belong there anymore, and it more than unsettled her. She sighed and went downstairs to find Levi, who was waiting for her in the empty dining hall. On the table in front of him were two plates consisting of bread, cheese, and cured meats. He looked up from where he lounged in his chair with a cup of tea.  
"I didn't think you'd want anything too heavy," he said, gesturing to the plates.  
"You're right," she said, taking a seat opposite.  
"How was Erwin?"  
"Apologetic. He told me what happened, after I fell."  
"Huh," he said, uncertainty crossing his face.  
"He didn't need to apologise, and neither did you, so let that be the end of whatever guilt you might still be holding on to," she said, giving him a stern look. "You shouldn't have blamed him like you did. You needed one another."  
Levi sighed.  
"I know, but I wasn't exactly thinking rationally. Did he take you to your old room?"  
"Yeah."  
"He thought he'd kept the fact that he'd moved all your stuff there a secret, but I've known the whole time. Idiot," he said, though not unkindly.  
"He didn't want to let go any more than you, I guess."  
"Considering he's known you since you were seven and he held himself solely responsible for what happened, it's not hard to understand why."  
"Hmm." She returned her attention to the food in front of her. "Let's see..."  
She gingerly bit into a piece of cheese, and then shut her eyes, letting the flavour fill her mouth. When she opened them again, Levi looked faintly amused.  
"What?" she asked.  
"I don't think I've ever seen anyone look so enraptured by cheese before."  
"It's not like there was a huge menu to choose from out there. It was just cooked animals and birds, the occasional egg, and whatever mushrooms and vegetables I could forage."  
"You did well," he told her. "I don't know if I could have survived."  
"Of course you could," she said, tearing into some meat. She was surprised he'd managed to procure some, given its scarcity. "Though, you'd have to get over your aversion to dirt first."  
"Tch."  
He started to eat his own food, watching her as she chewed. She tipped her head back to look at the ceiling.  
"It feels so strange, having a proper roof over me again."  
She returned her gaze to Levi, desperate to get up to speed in the hopes she'd feel more like her old self again.  
"What's our shifter Titan really like, then? Do we know why he can do it?"  
"When he was ten, his mother was eaten by a Titan when Wall Maria fell. He saw it happen. Ever since then, he's been hell-bent on training to kill Titans. He wants to eradicate them."  
"Don't we all."  
"His father was, or perhaps still is, a doctor, though it's likely he's dead. We think he's somehow responsible for Eren's shifter ability. There's a basement in their house in Shiganshina that he gave Eren the key to. He told him everything would become clear if he went there. We haven't been able to reach it yet, but hopefully that basement really will lead us to some answers."  
"I hope so... Who was the black-haired girl with him, in the wagon?"  
"Mikasa Ackerman. Eren's family took her in after both of her parents were murdered when she was nine. The doctor was on a routine visit and told Eren to wait outside when he realised both the parents were dead. He wandered off to a nearby outhouse and ran into the three traffickers responsible. They'd captured Mikasa. The brats ended up killing them all and escaped."  
"Well, shit," she said. "'Ackerman'... A relation of yours?"  
"Probably," he replied. "She's talented, but she's obsessed with Eren. It gets damn annoying when you tell her to do something and all she can think about is protecting him, thinking she knows better than anyone else. That's how I busted my ankle and leg today; she disobeyed my orders and I had to save her ass."  
"I'd noticed you were injured," she said, frowning. "Are her feelings reciprocated by Eren?"  
"Doesn't look like it. To make matters worse, she has an admirer in one of the other recruits. An arrogant brat called Jean. He's the one that we left our horses with earlier."  
"Ah. Such drama," she said, sighing happily.  
"You hate drama."  
"Not right now I don't. I haven't really had much by way of entertainment these past few months, other than slaughtering Titans."  
"How many do you think you killed?" he asked.  
"Hmm. Including the ones today... Twenty five?"  
Levi paused mid-bite. He slowly lowered the slice of bread he was holding and stared at her.  
"Twenty five?"  
"Mm," she said, nodding.  
"How...?"  
"Like I said earlier, I just got really good at using trees and mountains. I also trained Nightmare to be there when I needed to land. I think I broke my tailbone at least once, working on that manoeuvre, but it was worth it. I also trained him to run around with me hanging down from the saddle. It meant I could cut the backs of the Titans' ankles and then finish them off when they fell. Risky, though."  
"That brings your tally up to 120."  
"I guess it does, yes. What are you on, now?"  
"70."  
"You'd better catch up, then," she teased. "I do have ten years on you in the Scouts, though."  
Levi shook his head, incredulous.  
"We've missed your skill," he said. "Maybe you can teach us a thing or two."  
"If you think it'd be useful, then sure."  
They resumed eating in a comfortable silence until Hange burst in, carrying a tray of tea.  
"Can I join?" she asked.  
Levi sighed, and Anya patted the space next to her. Hange slid into the seat and handed them both a cup.  
"Thanks," she said. "Levi's been telling me about the new recruits."  
"Oh, we have some promising ones, don't we? And Eren's Titan ability..."  
"How do you think he does it?"  
Hange's face lit up, and she suppressed a smile. Her friend's enthusiasm for research was unrivalled.  
"Well, he triggers it with self-mutilation. Usually he bites down on his hand, hard, and changes. However, recently we've discovered that he needs a clear goal for changing, too... Like picking up a spoon!" she said.  
"Picking up a spoon?" she asked, glancing at Levi, who sighed again.  
"He tried to change recently, and it didn't work," he explained. "He was having something to eat afterwards with... with the others, and he dropped a spoon on the ground. He reached for it and suddenly his arm shifted to a Titan limb."  
"Oh... That's strange."  
"It is, isn't it?!" said Hange. "You'll have to meet him tomorrow and see for yourself!"  
She stifled a yawn, and Levi got to his feet.  
"Come on; you're falling asleep. I don't blame you, having to listen to Hange."  
"Don't be rude," she chided, though she too stood up. "Will you come with me into the city tomorrow, Hange?"  
"Sure! Have a good rest," she said, her tone gentler.  
"You, too. Thanks for lending me these clothes, by the way."  
Hange waved a hand.  
"No worries. See you tomorrow. 'Night, Levi."  
"Night, Hange," he replied.

***

****

**Levi**

Levi knew that any man in his right mind would be trying to be intimate with Anya after over six months of nothing, and so for a moment he considered whether or not he had gone mad as he watched her lighting a few candles. He realised, though, that he hadn't, in fact, lost his mind; he was just utterly exhausted, both physically and emotionally, and she was too.  
"I forgot to get nightwear," she said, frowning.  
He hobbled over to a drawer and pulled out a long-sleeved top for her.  
"Here."  
"Thanks."  
She pulled off her shirt and he froze again, assessing her injuries and yet at the same time wanting to reconnect with the body he knew better even than his own. She paused in putting on his top and tilted her head slightly.  
"I want to... I want to be close again," she said, "but I'm so tired I don't think I'd be able to stay awake, and I want our...reunion... I don't know; I'd prefer it to be when I'm a little more like myself again."  
"I'll do whatever you want, when it's right for you, Anya," he told her. "There's no pressure."  
She smiled and pulled his top over her thin torso. Due to her drastic weight loss, it almost went down to her knees, despite her being the same height as him. She took off her boots and leggings and got under the bed covers. He wordlessly folded the clothes and placed them on a shelf inside his wardrobe, before removing his own and doing the same with them, conscious of her amethyst gaze following his every move. Finally, he made sure that the door was locked, extinguished the candles, and then climbed in beside Anya. The full moon bathed them both in soft, silver glow, and they lay looking into each other's eyes for some time, at last fully conveying all of the grief, heartache, and relief that they felt, connecting without touching, speaking without words. Anya shifted slightly, and he reached out to move a strand of moon-white hair from across her eyes.  
"What is it?"  
"I don't know... I'm scared."  
"Of what?" he asked, brushing a thumb over her cheek.  
"Of being separated from everyone again. I'm scared even of dreaming about it," she confessed, her voice no more than a whisper.  
"We'll always find the path back to one another, Anastasya. Hell... I'll never lose you again in the first place."  
She answered him by gently pressing her cool lips to his, before scooting back.  
"I love you," she said.  
He did his best not to sigh with relief. He'd never really doubted it, but to finally hear her say it again, after so long and after everything that had occurred...  
"I love you, too," he replied.  
She smiled, and he watched as her eyelids fluttered as she fought to stay awake.  
"Sleep, Anya. You're safe with me."  
It seemed to be all she needed to hear. Moments later, her eyes closed fully, and her breathing became slow and soft. He watched her for as long as he could before, at last, sleep consumed him too. 


End file.
